blogspit blog
Friday, May 16, 2003
I watched The Matrix: Reloaded last night with 6 of my HS kabarkadas. Supposedly we're 7 but since Merlie migrated and is currently studying in the States at UC Berkeley, we're left here in the Philippines with 6. Soon to be diminished with Jo's departure for the States -- she's also studying there you see. She feels like she'll grow more as a person up there.
Boo hoo hoo. I get sadder whenever I think of that. As Renicca eloquently put it: we're literally growing up, and to a certain extent growing apart. But anyway... we'll all still be friends.
Anyhow... speaking of Matrix Reloaded. I honestly think it was a movie to show the development of special effects and CGI. The story line was quite unstable -- points were made but nothing really established. Well, for one it IS the 2nd part of the trilogy... all our questions will supposedly be answered on the 3rd Matrix film "Revolutions." No doubt, Reloaded will bring you to the edge of your seat but it leaves you hanging in the end. Not the type of hanging that The Matrix initially gave all of us, but the kind hanging where you feel lost. Marketing strategy perhaps? Or is it just on the boundary of the much emphasized philosophy of CONTROL in the movie. Are we just being controlled by the Wachowski brothers to be left hanging with a big question mark on our heads so that we will be more eager to watch the 3rd to just put an end to all our questions? Hmm.... A conspiracy theory.
The funny things I think of when I can't say so much about a movie cause people will kill me. The point is, I really like to tell you my theories about it, but I just can't. I'm leaving it open for discussion though, whenever you see me.
Even if I feel a little hmm, should I say apathetic rather more on neutral toward Reloaded's philosophical and metaphysical message (unlike the 1st movie, where I was almost hypnotized and spellbound: literally thinking about my existence after watching it in 1999); and there was really no Matrix pandemonium in me for the 2nd movie, unlike some people I know (the hype in me sort of died down: 4 years was a pretty long wait you know)... I'm actually looking forward to Matrix: Revolutions.
There is still a question that drives me.
I'm just glad to know that I wouldn't be waiting for so long. Matrix Revolutions comes out this November.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Ay putangama. Naiyak ako sa librong ito: Drama Queen a novel by Abi Aquino. Basahin niyo yang lahat. Maganda siya. Astig.
I'm in this endless writer's block since last night. After a heartfelt letter to one of my closest friends (if not my closest friend ever), about personal things that made me feel like shit the past few days -- elaborations aren't needed. Last night I completely gave up writing a decent blog. I'm just too emotional to write. Today, here's my attempt to write a decent one.
I actually planned my day today last night -- redundant I know. But you know those moments that in between your falling-asleep state and your rapid mind-processing state.... where you're eyelids are dropping while your mind is stealing hyperactivity and is extremely subconsciously aware. Yes that was the state I was in last night. I was thinking and planning about my day today. I originally planned to wake up early -- which I did, and finish the much awaited & much overdue tr3s directory -- which I did too. Then I planned to write the article about Lisa which is due on Monday -- heck I ws even composing my article in my head -- I told myself I'd finish it by "tomorrow" -- which is actually today. (Remember I was planning all of this last night).
Today. I woke up at 8 am. I did the directory. I opened my files and read Lisa's curriculum vitae, in hopes of getting a solid idea to write about. I opened the MSWord application and blank. Point blank. Word blank. Mental blank. I picked up a book: Drama Queen, by Abi Aquino. Yes, it was the book I mentioned earlier. And I couldn't put it down. It's now 142pm, and my MSWord screen is still blinking blank literally. I half blame it on myself... but the other half's blame is on that book. It's so frikkin' witty. It's such a Putangamang book. It fucking made me cry. Heck I was crying in the kitchen. (Yes, I was reading it all over my house. And I stick to the places where people will not shoo me away or nag me to clean my room or that sort of stuff.)
Now back to Lisa. I'm on a writer's block. I had it all down in my little moment of consciousness and unconsciousness last night. It was all written down in my head. But, surprise surprise. I couldn't remember a single line of the mental composition I did last night. It seems to have buried itself in my long term memory and I have lost that very important password which hinders my retrieval of information. It's 149pm now. 7 minutes of composing my rants... zero words for the article.
Basta. Read the brilliant book. It's just too wonderful to pass up. I think I want to get my own copy for myself. It's definitely up on my A-book list.
Anyway, I have to finish my article soon. I will go out tonight and watch the Matrix with my HS barkada. Time's flying... and so is my mind. Oh funk.
Geez. I forgot what I was trying to say.
Shit.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
My good friend in HS, Joanna Dabao wrote a letter in our egroups a week ago saying that she'll be leaving for the States this August so she could continue her education there. Maybe it's just so automatic for me to reply to emails that I replied to the email asking what course she'll take up there and saying that I'll miss her.
Truth is, I was really stunned at the news that she brought. I literally didn't know what to say, that I just had to reply to say something. It's quite ironic, but it's like I'm just babbling to avoid the silence. I knew I wanted to say something relevant, I wanted to say something relevant... but shattered words came out. I felt like I was trying to bake a cake, but I ended up baking crumbs instead.
I am here, writing to investigate my personal reason as to why I couldn't really say what I wanted to say. It's an issue that's tugging in me, because aside from the fact that I felt shocked and doubfounded with the news and saddened by the fact that a really dear friend of mine is leaving, my HS barkada is literally growing up and moving away -- I felt that I have lost my candidness to say the things I want to say toward them.
I am disturbed, because it's like there's a huge gap... and to think that Jo was one of my closest friends in HS.
Once again, I feel sick to the gut.
I miss my HS barkada. I miss Jo, Lisa, Merlie, Ange, Renix, Becky & Irene.
Sometimes I wish I were still in HS, I'd be wearing my red plaid uniform with the hand-knotted necktie, and I'd get to see my barkada everyday. And we would still dream of things we wanted to do or wanted to see...
But today is a different day. We are all in college... doing the things we dreamt, seeing the things we wanted to see. We are living our own respective realities. And though it's really nice that we're living a part of our dream, somehow it's still comforting to think that no matter what, we are still Assumption girls who talk a little louder than others but walk a little further than most as well.
I'll miss you Jo. Take care. I'll see you, Lisa & Ange this Friday at Power Plant. =)
You know the image of Hua Zhe Lei below is funny. Sometimes it's there sometime's it's just an "x" on a designated rectangular space. The little graphic is driving me nuts.
I was thinking about all the Meteor Garden personality quizzes I've been taking, and if it isn't that obvious, I'm a mix between Lei and San Chai's personality. Nothing changes the fact that I am in love with Dao Ming Si's personality. As my friend Tin says: "How can you hate him? He's too lovable to hate?"
And I couldn't agree less. He's so cute too. Haha.
Ok. I'm being so frikin' shallow here. I'm *always always* blogging about Meteor Garden (or anything related to it) all the time. It's getting overhyped. Haha.
~ ~
Last night, someone texted me, once again asking if I was "Heart E."
To be honest, I'm sick of it. It's been what the 4th or 5th time people have gone to the extent of bugging me. It's a running joke in blueREP that if ever anyone texts me, asking if I were "Heart" -- I should say something like: "BAKIT? Ikaw ba si John Pratts?"
This time I decided to make the running joke into a reality, and so I did text back with the message: "Bakit? Ikaw ba si John Pratts?" And this little fella with a number of +639205894909, not getting my sarcasm, replies: "Hindi ah! Alam mo Heart, gusto ko yung bago mong commercial! "
And in my head, I was like: "Putres... di ba ako titigilan nito?"
So I decided to just say: "Hindi nga ako si Heart. Madami ng nagtetext at tumatawag sakin. Nagkamali sila. Ipagkalat mo na hindi ako si Heart. Dahil si Heart Smart yung line, ako line ko Globe."
The little fella still didn't get the message... and proceeds to saying: "Ows?! Niloloko mo lang ako eh!"
And I was like: "Bakit kita lolokohin? Hindi nga ako si Heart. Tigilan mo na ako."
And I thought the ordeal would be over... but NO! The little fella still textes back: "Kilala mo ba si Jemaline Estrada?"
And so now, I'm really ticked. I decided to do the things the "Chica Quiambao" way... So I go: "Who the fuck is she?"
Chica is a good friend from blueREP, my core-mate, manager of the Assets department and she told me that using "fuck" was a good way to get your point across, as proven by the many times her friend Kat Bolasco was mistaken for someone else.
And the text tick suddenly replies: "BAHALA KA SA BUHAY MO!"
And I was like: "That goes the same for you."
And the tick goes: "Pa English-english pa. Wala na akong load kaya bahala ka na!"
I really wanted to get back at the text tick, with some deed of just texting her English cuss words, and say something like: "I am billingual. And English is really my first language, so fuck off..." or something like that but then I decided not to... I was like: "Nah. Fuggehdaboutit. You got your message across already."
Today, I realized that I did sound annoyingly & attrociously self-posessed last night, but I really tried being nice before. And it didn't work. People were calling & texting me, asking if I was Heart, and I've always said "no." politely... then they in turn decide that they want to be text mates, or even ask for a scholarship! I mean...stop it people. If I am justifying my "mean" deed... then yes, I am guilty of the crime. But come to think of it, that mean deed will spread and people will know that my number isn't really Heart Evangelista's number.
As of now that's what matters.
And I think I'm being a real bitch now... so I should shut up.
Only until I finish dinner. I'll blog back right after. Haha!
Monday, May 12, 2003
And though I like Dao Ming Si or Dao Ming Shi -- my F4 personality is most likely...
which F4
member are you?
quiz by mary_chan76
...Hua Zhe Lei's.
I just detest the description, rather the tereotype "that I'm expressionless", I'm not that gloomy either. But yes, I am quiet (contrary to people's first impressions) and I am a thinker.
The girl who did this quiz gave me a nightmare with reagrds to fixing the code to make the image appear. She says her host doesn't allow hot linking. Geez. Moral lesson for me: If ever I make a quiz and it has an image graphic, I should allow hot linking or else don't post the quiz online.
What a whopping slam on the face: I feel awful because we lost the RCBC theater. Some other theatre group took our reservation. Goodbye state-of-the-art, excellent acoustic & easy on our budget theater.
I feel awful. So by tonight, I have to come up with a list of a lot of theatres asking them for the information about the ff:
1. seating capacity.
2. cost (with tech/no tech).
3. bookings.
I need help. Anyone please recommend a good theater/auditorium to me on the Makati, San Juan and/or Ortigas side. Leave your suggestions by my shout-outs below my blog
thanks.
On the lighter side of life, today is a Monday. Today is the 2nd week of Meteor Garden. The reason why I actually enjoy weekdays now is because of Meteor Garden
Jerry Yen is the new apple of my eye. Damn he's cute.
Anyhow, for those who watch Star Mandarin... here are the schedules of the great movies to watch:
May 16, 2003 - Gen Y Cops - starring Edison Chen - 1020am
May 17, 2003 - 9 Girls and a Ghost - starring Edison Chen - 1125am
May 24, 2003 - Final Romance - starring Edison Chen - 120am *damn the time slot but it's a really "kilig" movie*
May 28, 2003 - Princess D - starring Edison Chen - 120am *damn the time slot again... bleh.*
I know it's full of Edison Chen movies... but I can't help it.
I'm still looking for Jerry Yen movies. I doubt he'll be shown in Star Mandarin though.
I'm trying to learn Chinese and Japanese. I'm asking Sim to teach me. But she doesn't know much Chinese and she's just learning Japanese. So... I'm still trying to learn.
Here's a nifty Chinese phrase I picked up in the internet: Wo Shi Zhen De Zhen De Hen Ai Ni!
I found it "aliw" cause it's a longer version of I Love You. It means: I really, really love you very much.
And guess where I learned it? I learned it through the lyrics of Jerry Yen's song. Haha! I'm actually learning Chinese out of my obsession.
So again, I will repeat it so I will not forget: Wo shi zhen de zhen de hen ai ni!
Orrayt! =)
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in the world. =)
~ ~ ~
My heart is broken. Brandon Boyd has a girlfriend. Another decent guy less in the world. *sigh*
Anyway. There's still Edison Chen & Jerry Yen left. haha!
~ ~ ~
I heard mass yesterday in this sort of newly renovated church somewhere in Makati. It was beautifully done: the altar was magnificent, the place was practically painted in white & gold -- it was truly ornate. My mom and I started talking about how moneyed the current parishioners were, since they were able to develop the then old, rickety, small, wooden church into something as grand as the current state or condition of the church. It was unbelievable.
My mom is fond of this certain church because this was where she married my dad 20 years ago. While I on the otherhand, have an affinity or even a certain link to that church because that was where I was baptized 19 years ago.
So I was sitting, trying to pray a little something before mass started, and it hit me that I couldn't pray. I couldn't feel God's presence in the church, which I thought was really ironic. I'm not religious or anything near that, but I guess I consider myself a spritual being who believes enough to move mountains. I'm really particular on personal prayers and on that moment, on that occasion I couldn't seem to find my place or hear God's voice. I started thinking of places where I found peace, calmness and the solemnity that prayer usually fills in a holy, quiet space. I don't exactly know why I did this, but that was when the reality of the Philippine church hit me.
I asked myself: How many churches in the Philippines have I gone into and actually felt the serenity and the power of God by simply sitting down? How many churches in the Philippines made me feel overcome with unexplainable bliss and contentment and a realization that everything will be ok?
I started counting...
Those churches I felt my serenity were: The Church of the Gesu in the Ateneo, and the Gonzaga Chapel -- though it's practically on one location. And I couldn't think of any place else, then I started looking beyond the Philippine churches, I realized that there were more churches abroad that I considered solemn than here in the Philippines where we are supposedly a predomenantly Catholic country.
I just found it funny how we Filipinos could be ever proud of the commercial fact of being the only Catholic country in Asia when we've lost the holiness within our pillars of faith.
How can we restore the holiness of a church? How could the feeling of holiness be carried out upon centuries in Rome, where until now, even if you marvel at the architectural majesty and beauty of the Cathedrals and Bassilicas you will still find that sense of peace. Why can't I sense it here?
Why can't I sense it here?
